We've been down this road so many times, that NFL jerseys all die-hard fans in places like Ottawa and Edmonton have pitchforks and torches at the ready. Pronger, Yashin, Comrie....and now Dany Heatley. We know the drill all too well.
But in case you've never had your favourite superstar leave town, here are the Ten Stages of Emotions you go through as a heartbroken fan. This is written from the perspective of a die-hard Senators fan, but these 10 stages are interchangeable to any city and any situation. Currently, most of the city of Ottawa is caught somewhere between stages 2 - 7.
Stage One: Shock
"I didn't see this coming at all. I'm still recovering from Joe Corvo wanting to leave town two years ago. This can't be true. This must be an E-1 on Hockeybuzz."
Stage Two: Anger
"You know what? Heatley is just a one-dimensional player. A fire hydrant could score 50 next to Spezza. I never really liked the guy from Day One"
You can raise our taxes, close our schools and force us into another federal election and we will react with barely a collective yawn.
But the minute a multi-million dollar athlete wants to leave town, you will see us turn into an angry and organized mob. Hell hath no fury like a small Canadian market scorned.
Stage Three: Shame
"I need to change my ring tone to something other than 'The Heat Is On'. Perhaps "heater--15--rules@yahoo.com" isn't the best e-mail address for me now. And can I delete any Internet posts I made back in October 2007 where I said this was the best signing in franchise history?"
Stage Four: Rumour Mongering
"Did you hear Heatley put his condo up for sale two weeks before the regular season ended? I heard he never actually got along with Jason Spezza. Someone told me they saw Heatley hanging with Joe Thornton last week in California. My friend's cousin is a security guy at Scotiabank Place and he's pretty sure he saw Heatley yelling at Cory Clouston one night after a game. But my cousin does work in the 400-level of the arena, so it might have just been two concession staffers fighting."
Stage Five: Overvaluing Your Star
"Heatley is a rare commodity. Lots of teams need a proven goal scorer. Murray should send Heatley to Vancouver for Luongo and Kesler. We can throw in a late-round pick to even it up....but we should totally make this trade. If not, maybe we can pry Malkin out of Pittsburgh."
You can raise our taxes, close our schools and force us into another federal election and we will react with barely a collective yawn.
But the minute a multi-million dollar athlete wants to leave town, you will see us turn into an angry and organized mob. Hell hath no fury like a small Canadian market scorned
Stage Six: Indifference
"You know what? I don't care what we get back. I just want him gone. Trade him to Vancouver for Jason Jaffrey. Just give me the cap space."
Stage Seven: Impatience
"Tell me when this soap opera ends. I need to start focusing on my fantasy football draft and I only have so much time to waste at work."
Stage Eight: Relief (The Trade Is Made)
"I still think we could have gotten Luongo and Kesler if we had waited an extra week. But I guess I'll wait and see what other moves Murray makes before I judge this trade."
Stage Nine: Anger
"When does Heatley come to town? Can't wait to boo him. Maybe we'll burn his jersey in a show of mass support. Let's all plan to turn our backs on him whenever he has the puck, while singing 'The Heat Is Gone.' (Hopefully, Sens fans have several months to plan something out, because clearly these are lame suggestions.)
Stage Ten: Acceptance and Moving On
"Yeah right. Like this stage ever happens
没有评论:
发表评论